Unfiltered Story #32856

(There is a girl in my biology honors class who seems to make it her personal goal to make my life miserable, however, since most people know me as being really relaxed and forgiving, her attempts seem more comical and redundant than not. It’s the week after finals, and everyone including the teachers are just kicking back and relaxing. Our teacher decides to put up a movie and since I didn’t eat breakfast that morning, I decide to buy a pizza and eat it inside. This occurs after I start eating.)

Bully: Ew, look at him, eating that pizza.

Classmate: Uh, what about it?

Bully: Just look at him. Did you know pizza gives you diabetes and stuff like that? I can’t stand the sight of fat-a**** like him eating knowingly that he’ll probably die of a heart attack.

Bully’s Friend: Uh, you DO know he was on the varsity football team and he’s doing track right now, right?

Bully: So? Football is only for weirdos who get a kink out of getting their heads bashed in, and track is for fat-a**** that want to lose weight, but can’t hit the gym.

Classmate #2: Uh, didn’t your cousin get like a football scholarship or something?

Bully: That’s only because he IS fit. Not like [My Name] over there. Besides, football is so boring, I went to [Best Friend]’s party last Thursday. Now THAT was good s***.

Me: Oh yeah! I remember seeing you there. Yeah, [Best Friend] only invited me and a couple other people for a study session and we brought food, then you showed up, grabbed like, 2 boxes of pizza and went into the restroom for a full hour. We tried knocking but all we heard was vomiting and crying.

Bully: What?! You’re lying! [Best Friend] was TOTALLY digging it, we had music and it was like crazy loud, right [Bully’s Friend]?

Bully’s Friend: Uh, I was home sick because you challenged me to a hot dog eating contest, remember?

Bully: No you WEREN’T. You were at [Best Friend]’s house for a wicked party, and we had a s*** load of fun.

Me: Well, just remember that we took a video of us trying to get you out of the shower. *pulls out phone*

(I played the video and literally all of the people in the classroom who heard our conversation crowded around to see. In short, it was a video of my friends and I running up the stairs to the bathroom, knocking on the door, hearing sounds of vomiting and screaming, us then forcing open the door, finding the bully on the floor eating the pizzas, us kicking her out, and then her trying to find a way back in so she can “get leftovers.”)

Popular Jock who the Bully likes: Holy f****** s***. That was amazing. Send me the pic?

Bully: NO! You don’t need that!

Popular Jock: Dude, that was HILARIOUS! Also, I’m drawing the line, you’re crazy.

Me: I suppose I should also show you the video she posted a couple of days ago about you, [Popular Jock].

Popular Jock: If it’s anything like that, I want to see it.

(Shows 2 minute video of the Bully “professing” her love to the Jock, making seductive noises and winky faces, and finally ending with her twerking in “an attempt for him to notice her big-a** a**)

Popular Jock: *stands up, looks around before looking at the Bully* The f***? Just. Don’t even talk to me anymore.

Bully: *starts screaming, crying, and throwing a tantrum*

(Moral of the story? Don’t f*** with someone who knows the most popular guy in school and lives next door to him. Your reputation will not last.)