Done Away With Your Birthday

Roommate: “Hey, do you work tonight?”

Me: “I work every Sunday night, don’t I?”

Roommate: “Oh. So… why does my calendar say today is your birthday?”

Me: “…because it’s my birthday.”

Roommate: “How was I supposed to know?”

Me: “Well, considering that my birthday has been the same day every year for the 15 years you’ve known me. And, you know, you wrote it on your calendar.”

Roommate: “I swear we celebrated your birthday a couple of months ago.”

Me: “…that was [His Fiancé]’s birthday… I wasn’t even here that night…”