If I Had A Dollar For Every Lie

, , , , | Right | June 16, 2017

(I work as a cashier at a non-profit thrift store. A customer comes up to my till full of what appears to be yarn and a few other crafting items.)

Customer: “This is all 50 and 25 cent stuff. Can I just tell you how many are 50 and how many are 25 so you don’t have to go through everything?”

Me: *a bit suspicious* “No, ma’am, I’ll need to go through it all. Just to be sure.

Customer: “But it’ll be so much faster this way.”

Me: “I insist, ma’am.”

(She argues for a little bit more but relents. Sure enough, the first layer of items are just balls of yarn priced 25 and 50 cents. But after that, there are a whole bunch of fabric bolts ranging from $1 to $2. As I’m going through her purchase, I’m politely mentioning the price of each item, as she just stares at me being completely silent. After she pays…)

Customer: “You should learn to be more trusting of others.”

Me: *stunned* “Umm… Thank you, ma’am. Have a wonderful day!”

1 Thumbs
  • Kanna-Chan

    Needs to be under “Liars and Scammers”.

  • Bill Cademy

    “And you should learn to be more worthy of people’s trust.”

    • divgradcurl

      “Acquire worth with speed.”

      • Souless night

        Please do not take drugs in order to gain trust.

        • Abigail Hermione Irwin


    • Abigail Hermione Irwin

      I had a similar response but I like yours MUCH better.

  • Cassia212

    “You should learn to be more trusting of others,” she says as she gives you further reason to mistrust every customer you see.

  • Ilya

    Why does Disqus keep logging me out?

    • Jackie Fauxe

      It probably has something to do with your cookies and/or browser settings. Which browser do you use? Does Disqus log you out before or after you close your browser?

      • Ilya

        I use Opera and it logs out after closing my browser.

        • Rob Tonka

          Maybe you have opera configured to clear your web history upon close

        • Jackie Fauxe

          It’s got to be in your Opera settings, I think. Maybe test it by enabling all cookies? I’ve never used Opera, but that’s where I’d start with most browsers.

          I have to accept third-party cookies or Disqus doesn’t work right for me.

          Also, please make sure you check what Rob suggested, about your web history being cleared when you close Opera.

        • kiden

          upgrade to chrome, or even firefox

          • While I use Chrome myself, I have to note that shifting from Opera to any other browser is actually a downgrade.

    • Deadpool

      It’s a sign that the FBI is about to raid your house. You need to reformat your hard-drive right away to erase any questionable things on your computer. Or you could listen to the serious guy below. Your choice.

  • minipopcorn

    “Unfortunately, I’ve found people are sometimes mistaken about the price of things. Better to be sure.”

    • Sierra Barre

      I like this response because it’s subtle and probably wouldn’t be enough to get you fired, and yet it gets the point across.

      • Katrin Schirmer

        yeah, your not outright calling someone a liar or anything, your calling it a mistake, so its subtle and less confrontational, might even keep things from escalating like they tend to do if you call someone out on their scam.

  • Rebecca Charlton

    “People like you are why I can’t, Ma’am. Have a nice day.”

  • Jesen

    “Nah, this seems to be working just fine for me, thanks.”

  • I Troll Libtards

    Another liberal trying to get something for nothing

    • Cathrope

      Minnesota is swarming with liberals. I’m amazed that the Republicans are in control of the house and Senate.

      • Deadpool

        And they’re all blocking I-94 after the Castile “Not Guilty” verdict was announced.

        • Cathrope

          The way you stop that kind of protest is to have big rigs just plow through the protesters. I would never find anyone guilty for killing a protester if they are on the interstate.

          • Deadpool

            They’re thieves. By keeping me from getting home from work they are literally stealing my time–time I would rather spend with my family. So, yes, they definitely deserve to get run over.

            Just glad the verdict was reached late on Friday. Fewer people were stolen from this time.

          • Kryss LaBryn

            You’re just saying that because you have that Zamboni.

          • Deadpool

            Haha! I forgot about that thing since it’s in storage. But you’re totally right. Definitely the best way to run over protesters… or anyone for that mater.


          • BrickBat

            You do realize Deadpool is fictional?

          • Deadpool

            WHAT!?!? My entire existence is a work of fiction!?!? Pbbt! Of course I knew that, silly. I’ve finally permanently broken the 4th wall and have moved into the real world.

          • Cathrope

            Yes they are.

          • Cipher

            They’re protesting for good reason: a well loved man in our community was murdered and the cop isn’t being held fully accountable. The cop asked for ID and he was shot for complying. The officers here are trained in de-escalation and this cop escalated out of panic…so I am hoping it is just something going on mentally instead of a malicious action.

    • Siirenias

      and chicks for free?

      • Lon

        I want my….naw, these days they can keep it.

        • Siirenias

          I want my 1980s MTV!

    • Cat Amanigh

      You’re not a very good troll.

    • Matt Westwood

      What’s a liberal?

      • Paludal

        Someone whit inteligence and by that not a trump-supporter/voter.

  • Lord Circe

    Nope. That is not how that works. You don’t somehow “deserve” trust just for existing, and you in particular obviously deserve nothing but suspicion everywhere you go.

  • RyderOrRiot1

    That’s how companies go out of business

  • Holly

    “And you should learn not to steal.”

  • Mushroom

    me: This was an object lesson on WHY we have a policy of going through it all, because we cannot be trusting of others.

  • Denton Young

    “Trust but verify, ma’am.”

  • Xodiac

    “You should learn to be more trusting of others.”


  • Cai

    I want $0.25 yarn balls! That’s like a 75% discount off even the cheap stuff, 90% or more off more expensive brands. People are so greedy, trying to scam more stuff when they’re already getting a great deal.

  • Quite the yarn that customer tried to tell.

  • Bel-Shamharoth

    Well, I would if people weren’t trying to scam our non-profit store by assuming I’ll trust whatever they say.

  • GNF

    I don’t understand the “Thank you, ma’am. Have a wonderful day!” Shouldn’t this be the time for a blank stare or eye roll or to pipe up and say, “Well ma’am, it seems as if being untrustworthy helped me sort out the majority of items which were not the price you ‘trustingly’ said they were. Now I don’t trust you when you say I should be more trusting of others, but thanks for doing your part for contributing to my trust issues!!”

    • Kat Kirkpatrick

      The “Thank you, ma’am. Have a wonderful day!” is probably the only thing OP could have said that the customer would not immediately twist around into OP being rude, mean, condescending, or outright accusing the customer of theft.

  • Matt Westwood

    Customer: “You should learn to be more trusting of others.”

    OP: “Indeed it would be good if I could be, but there are so many scoundrels, scammers, criminals, arseholes and other assorted unspeakable lowlifes who hide expensive items under a thin layer of cheap ones that we are unfortunately obliged to check it all.”

  • Michael Taylor

    I always mentioned that I have to scan everything so it updates our inventory (which was true).

    • Kitty

      I’d absolutely say that, too. It’s not wrong and it leaves no open area of “your employee was treating me like a lying thief”!

    • Will Flynn

      Do thrift stores have scanners now? Been a few years since I have been in one so I honestly do not know.

      • Michael Taylor

        I don’t know about all of them, but the ones near me do. Although, most of them double as something else as well, so I honestly don’t know either.

  • KashyaCharsi

    Reminds me of the scene of My best friend’s wedding where Julia tries to steal a car and gets outraged when she finds it locked, saying where is the trust.

  • Kitty

    I tried to be trusting of other people, but they just kept taking advantage of that. And I learned to mistrust everyone when it comes to money.

    • Deadpool

      … and Kitty treats.

  • Sara van der Merwe

    “You’re part of the reason I DON’T trust people, ma’am.”

  • Marion Scheffels

    “Learn from what…?”

  • sacke5

    Customer: “You should learn to be more trusting of others.”
    Me: “I am, to those that deserve it.”

  • Kathy Plester

    “You should learn to be more trusting of others.”
    “Madam, people like you are the reason I don’t trust others.”

  • Kathy Plester

    There’s a cheap no frills store I shop in regularly, especially for canned foods. They charge very little but the vegetables and meat inside the tins are actually really nice – they’re just a brand you’ve never heard of.

    My daughter uses a special needs buggy and it is impossible to hang or prop a basket on so I just put stuff in bags. A few weeks ago I went in to stock up on tinned veggies and grabbed 10 cans (they’re all loose) but put only one on the belt because it was easier than unloading them all. As soon as the cashier picked up the first can I told her I had ten and showed her the bags. She still asked if I would let her count the cans. Normally they don’t ask but I happily let her do it which really surprised her but she counted anyway. Then she thanked me for being so cooperative and I said:

    ‘No worries, you were just doing your job.’

    She smiled and said:

    ‘I’ve worked in retail for four years now, you’re the first customer who has ever said that to me.’

    I felt a little sad for her – I worked in retail for many years and got reasonable customers who acknowledged you were just following procedure sometimes, even if they were rare compared to the ones that screamed the place down, I still had them.

    Now she never asks to check. Trust is earned. I didn’t expect it. In fact every time I do this with any cashier, I always expect to be checked – this is why I open up the bags so they can see.

  • Alison L Barrett

    I’m sure I can learn that when you learn not to lie, and try to steal from people.

  • Cave Johnson

    “And you should learn how to scam properly.” Well, she shouldn’t, but it’s a good comeback.

  • Tossaway

    “It’s not a matter of trust, ma’am, it’s store policy, which I don’t set.”

  • Matlatzinca Montoya

    If the cashier was a male, he’s sexist. You should always trust women.

  • arglebargle

    “You just taught me everything I need to know about that, ma’am.”

    (Thumbs up to the other good retorts in the comments)

    Oh, hey, OP, good post. Tough to be one the spot but it seems you behaved well.

  • Alkuna

    Customer: “You should learn to be more trusting of others.”
    Me: “Actually ma’am, thanks to your … “honest mistake” you’ve taught me to ALWAYS be careful, because these kinds of things can happen! Thank you for helping me realize that, ma’am!” *sunny smile*

  • Clare

    “You should learn to be more trusting of others.”
    “I would, if people were more honest.”

  • “Yes maam… Up are a magnificent example of trustworthiness. I’m sorry I ever doubted you” all while maintaining deadpan eye contact

  • Lorne Smith

    I believe the correct response here would be “And you should not try to steal from a charity store.”