Doing Party Tricks By The Numbers

(The theme park I work for is in the process of changing ownership. As a result, all merchandise labelled with the old management name is sold as 60% off clearance in a special tent sale. Despite the sale’s popularity, I usually work alone in the tent. A customer asks me to price check an item. As the register requires us to override and manually enter the discount for each item separately, I prefer to mentally do the math instead.)

Customer: “How much is this?”

Me: *sees the $30 tag* “With the 60% off, it will be $12, sir.”

Customer: “How did you do that?! Did you memorize all the sale prices?!”

Me: “No, I just calculated in my head, sir.”

Customer: *grabs a nearby item* “Well, how much is THIS, then?”

Me: “That’ll be $6, sir.”

(Customer watches me with a flabbergasted expression and thanks me. Ten minutes later at the register:)

Me: *sees the customer bring an armful of items* “Oh, hello again. Did you find everything all right?”

Customer’s Wife: “Honey, are we getting all of these?”

Customer: *to wife* “No, hush.” *to me* “Can you tell me the prices of these items?”

Me: *looks at the line forming behind him* “Yes, of course!”

(I go over each item with him, and as fast as I can, tell him the prices after the discount.)

Me: “Do you want any of these items, sir?”

Customer: *stares at me like I’m crazy* “Of course not.” *walks away and says to his wife* “See, I told you she could do a pretty cool trick!”