Dog Bites Owner, Files For Emancipation

(A woman comes into the grooming salon with a dog whose hair is extremely matted.)

Customer: “I’d like her to have very long hair. Right now it’s all tangled and looks short.”

Me: “I can’t actually leave her hair long. She’s matted to the skin, and policy says we must shave her. I’ll try to get my longest blade through, but it will most likely be naked.”

Customer: “I don’t want her shaved. I want her hair long.”

Me: “I can’t make her hair long. It’s matted. Her skin is red, it’s matted so tight. It needs to be shaved for her health, and our policy is to shave her or we don’t groom the dog.”

Customer: “Can you guys do anything?”

Me: “Yes. Shave her. Just this one time, and when you pick her up I can show you the brush you should buy to keep her hair from matting as it grows out.”

Customer: “I’m not shaving her! I want her hair long. Not short. LONG.”

Me: “I can hear you. It’s shave or nothing, I’m sorry, it’s policy and really the best interest for the dog.”

Customer: “You should do as I’m telling you because I’M paying and it is MY dog.”

Me: “YOU should brush YOUR dog, because it is YOUR dog and YOU chose to own it.”

Customer: “I’m never coming back, and we’re going somewhere that will do what we want!”

(She came back.)