Doesn’t Want A Bilingual Girlfriend

, , , , , | Romantic | May 14, 2015

(While walking on campus, I make noises at a squirrel, who hears the sounds and runs up to me. I tell the guy I am dating about it and he dismisses me as crazy. The next day, we are going to see a play on campus. We park and step out of his car.)

Me: “Look! A squirrel!”

Boyfriend: *sarcastically* “Why don’t you talk to it, then?”

Me: “Okay, I will…”

(I make some chattering noises, and a squirrel across the lawn lifts his head, runs straight toward us, and stands up on his hind legs. I sit down slowly and look right at the squirrel’s face as he looks at me. Standing up, I play it cool, even though I am very surprised it worked, and turn to my boyfriend.)

Me: “Well, shall we go in, then?”

(His jaw was on the ground. The next day he called me and broke up with me for being “too weird.” Looking back, I should have dumped him first.)

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