Doesn’t Understand How Menus Work

(This is a church festival, and food is made fresh on site and kept warm over burners. We have just opened the food tent when an old lady walks up.)

Customer: “Do you work here?”

Me: “Yes. All of us in this shirt are volunteers.”

Customer: “Okay, I will take a grilled cheese, some baked beans, and a coffee.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but we do not have those items. All of our food items are on that large board over there.”

Customer: “You don’t have those? What kind of place that has food doesn’t have coffee?”

Me: “Sorry for the inconvenience; can I interest you in something off the menu?”

Customer: “Unless you put grilled cheese, baked beans, and coffee on it, I don’t want anything.”