Doesn’t Know Beans About Road Trips

(This happened back in the 1970s. Our family has decided to take a vacation to Chicago, and we’re driving there in our little 1967 Volkswagen Beetle. As we pull up…)

Dad: *gets out* “All right! Everyone out!”

Me: *gets out*

Sister #1: *gets out*

Sister #2: *gets out*

Mom: *gets out*

English Mastiff: *hops out*

Cousin #1: *gets out*

Cousin #2: *gets out*

Cousin #3: *gets out*

(At this point, all eight of us and the not-that-small dog are standing beside our tiny car, staring at my dad.)

Mom: “You are no longer allowed to have beans and wasabi before long trips.”