Doesn’t Have This Pet Thing Nailed

(A customer brings in 80lb bulldog in for B&B.)

Me: “So do you want me to just trim his nails or file them, too?”

Customer: “Oh! I only want you to file them. I live near the woods so he needs to be able to protect himself. So make sure they stay sharp.”

Me: “Sir, what do you think is going to get him?”

Customer: “I don’t know… like a rodent.”

Me: “What kind of rodent?”

Customer: “A raccoon or a… fox.”

Me: “Well, that’s why he has a mouth full of teeth to protect himself. He’s going to use those, not his front feet.”

Customer: “Uh, well, just make sure you don’t cut them. Like I said he needs to be able to protect himself.”