Doesn’t Have An Ounce Of Intelligence

(My friends and I are having dinner at an upscale, casual restaurant. Everything on the menu looks delicious, but the portions are large, and I am not really hungry. When the server comes to our table to take our order, I ask:)

Me: “Do you have any hamburgers smaller than half-pound?”

Server: *taps her chin* “Well, we do have eight-ounce burgers.