Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 3

Caller: “I need to place an order for a 10′ truck.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am! Can I start with your phone number?”

Caller: “My WHAT?”

Me: “Your phone number, ma’am?”

Caller: “Why do you need my phone number?”

Me: “I’m building a customer profile for you, so we can contact you with your rental information later.”

Caller: “Well, I don’t want one. Just reserve a truck for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t finish making a reservation if I don’t have a name and phone number to put on it.”

Caller: “So now you want my name, too? I’m not letting you data-farm me!”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t data-farming you. We just need to know who’s renting the truck.”

Caller: “Just put me down as ‘Jane Doe.’”

Me: “Okay… I still need a phone number.”

Caller: “Again? Fine, just put [phone number].”

Me: “All right, thank you, ma’am. We’ll just skip the email address for now…” *clicks buttons*

Caller: “What, and now you want my email? I thought this was a rental company?”

Me: “I don’t need your email address; it’s an optional step for people who want us to email them their order information.”

Caller: “Well, I’m not giving it to you. I don’t want my inbox to get spammed with junkmail.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. So will you be using this rental in the [Township] area?”

Caller: “How do you know I’m from [Township]?!”

Me: “Well, that’s the center you called, so I assumed that’s where you want to—”

Caller: “Are you tracing my call? If you knew that, then why did you ask for my name?”

Me: “Ma’am, you called a [Township] [Rental Company] dealer. No one is tracing your call.”

Caller: “How do I know you’re not tracking me right now? Can you tell where I am?”

Me: “I can’t, ma’am… I have no idea where you are.”

Caller: “Good. Keep it that way.”

Me: “So, do you need it for the [Township] area?”

Caller: “Where I go with my rental is my business. All YOU need to know is that I’m picking it up at your center at 10:00 am tomorrow and I’m dropping it off before you close. ”

Me: “Okay, got it. Let me see what’s available…” *skips a few forms to get to the truck list* “All right, I see a 10′ truck here, but it won’t be available until tomorrow afternoon. Is that still okay?”

Caller: “No, you’re not listening. I said I need it tomorrow at 10:00 am.”

Me: “I understand that ma’am, but our 10′ trucks are booked all morning. Would you like me to check other nearby centers to see if there are more available?”

Caller: “No, you’re still not listening. I need it at YOUR center at 10:00 am. I didn’t call a different center because I don’t want it at their center. I need it from THIS center, and I need it at 10:00 am.”

Me: “Well, in that case, would you consider an alternate truck size? I see here that the 15′ truck would be available in your time frame.”

Caller: “NO. I DO NOT WANT A 15′ TRUCK. Stop trying to up-sell me and give me the truck I asked for.”

Me: “I’m trying to ma’am, but I’m telling you it’s booked for tomorrow morning. Someone else will have it.”

Caller: “Then what’s the point of calling ahead?”

Me: “Ah… you called the night before. That’s still very short notice.”

Caller: “So how far in advance am I supposed to call?”

Me: “Well, first of all, the weekends are very busy, and you’re calling on a Friday night to pick up a truck on Saturday. If you want a better shot at getting a truck you should try reserving a week or two in advance and set it up on a weekday. I know Tuesdays tend to be very slow—”

Caller: “Well, I didn’t know I would need a truck a week ago, and I have to work during the week.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and that’s typically the case for everyone.”

Caller: “So instead of giving me what I ask for, all you can do is make excuses.”

Me: *slightly agitated* “Ma’am, I am doing the best I can for you. You’re telling me what you want, and I’m telling you what we have. What I have is a 15′ truck that you can pick up tomorrow at 10:00 am and keep all day. Frankly, I’m shocked I can offer that deal on such short notice. If that doesn’t work for you, then I’m afraid you’ll have to alter your plans a little bit to fit the situation.”

Caller: “Fine, whatever. I’ll take that one. I’m tired of hearing you b**** and moan.”

Me: *takes a deep breath* “All right, ma’am, I have the 15′ truck scheduled to pick up at 10:00 am. The price will be $29.95 plus $0.79 per mile and a $1 environmental fee.” *a feeling of dread creeps in* “Which credit card would you like to use to confirm this reservation?”

Caller: “NOW, HOLD ON! First you want my personal information, and now you want my CREDIT CARD?!”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t going to charge it. We just need it to—”

Caller: “THE H*** YOU AREN’T! After all this trouble you’re giving me, now you’re trying to hack my bank account? If you think I’m giving you something as valuable as that over the phone, then you’re crazy. I’ll pay in cash.”

Me: “I understand, but I can’t put a hold on the equipment without a card number.”

Caller: “So now you’re blackmailing me? You’re going to hold my rental hostage until I give you what you want? GO F*** YOURSELF!” *hangs up*