Doesn’t Get That It’s An Open And Shut Case  

(I’m looking for a plumbing fixture to go on the end of a pipe I’ve brought with me.)

Me: “I’m not sure if this is the right size.”

Clerk: “You can open the bag if you need to.”

(I open the bag. It fits.)

Me: “Great, exactly what I need.”

Clerk: “Do you want to get one that’s not already open?”

Me: “Nope, I’m going to take it right home and use it.”

Clerk: “Would you like me to tape up the bag?”

Me: “No, really, I’m going to open it again in ten minutes.”

(A variation on the “customer opens the bag and then won’t buy an open product” theme.)