Doesn’t Fall For The Riddle

(My friend and I are avid Harry Potter fans, him for a vastly different reason than me. His is that his name is actually Thomas Riddle, a fact which he hams up every Halloween by dressing as Voldemort. One year we are on a costume bar crawl and are stopped by a bouncer with a clipboard tallying the guests.)

Bouncer: “Names?”

Me: “[My Name].”

Friend: “Tom Riddle.”

Bouncer: “Haha, cute. Name?”

Friend: “Thomas Riddle.”

Bouncer: “Look, either give me your name, or get out of here, kid.”

Friend: *takes down the hood* “No, seriously dude. My name is Thomas Riddle.”

Bouncer: “I wasn’t born yesterday, you geek. Now get the h*** out of my sight!”

(My friend pulls out his wallet and flips it open, revealing his driver’s license. The bouncer’s expression stays more or less blank, though he does clear his throat slightly. He sits back.)

Bouncer: “…G’wan in.”

(We go inside and I nudge him.)

Me: “Ya know, you could’ve pulled your wallet out the first time, Voldy.”

Friend: “Don’t make me sic Nagini on you.”