Doesn’t Beer-lieve You

| Right | August 11, 2016

(I used to work at an NHL venue in concessions. During games, almost every stand closes ten minutes into the third period, or during concerts, when the main act hits the stage. Only our largest stand in the east and west promenades stays open until the end – but alcohol was off. This is invariably the script for many, many evenings after this point is reached:)

Customer: “Can I get two beers?”

Me: “Sorry, beer is off in the Dome for the night.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Really. The taps are shut off and even locked.” *shows the tap, which has a lock to make it impossible to pull the lever – and the lever itself is even removed!*

Customer: “That sucks! What about [Bar-like Arrangement above the east promenade]?”

Me: “Off. It’s part of the Dome, so it follows the same rules.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: *inwardly, sarcastic* “No, I frequently lie to customers for my own amusement.” *outward* “Yes, really. There is nowhere in the building where you can still receive alcohol.”

Customer: *moment of silence* “What about [Upscale Club downstairs from west promenade]?”

Me: “Is it in the building?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “And I said there is nowhere in the building where alcohol is still being served?”

Customer: “I think you did, yeah.”

Me: “Then, no, it’s not still serving beer.”

Customer: “Really…?”

(The customer left, dejected — after trying to find two or three other solutions, and pleading with me to unlock the taps (I don’t possess the key). The things some people will do for booze!)

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