Does She Understand Anything She Reads In The Paper?

(I work at a call center for a newspaper.)

Me: “Hello. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

(An old lady answers with a very whiny voice every call centre agent knows all too well.)

Caller: “I did not get my newspaper! I had it every day for fifty years; how can you not deliver it? I called yesterday and you told me it will be there today!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. Let’s look up your account and see what we can do about it.”

(I look up her subscription and see that the delivery was canceled roughly two months ago due to three prior months of unpaid fees.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but your delivery was stopped two months ago…”

(I explain the cause, which was a payment declined by her bank due to unknown reasons.)

Caller: “That can’t be! I have had this subscription for fifty years and always pay!”

(She continues to rant while I look deeper into her customer history. It turns out that she got all the letters and reminders during the three unpaid months, was called multiple times about it, and only after we stopped delivering did she acknowledge the ignored the letters; she thought it would “go away and resolve itself.” After the deliveries stopped, she started to call twice a week. She is told every time to talk to her bank as we can’t make them pay us.)

Me: “I am happy to tell you that your bank worked it out just yesterday. As the subscription was put on hold, we need accounting to re-open it to start delivering again.”

Caller: “Nonsense; my subscription was not halted! I just did not get it yesterday and today. I want the papers credited back.”

Me: “Well, if you still got the paper since the delivery was halted, you are very lucky, as we did not charge you for that. We will restart as soon as accounting has checked it and they will send you a confirmation letter.”

(I explain that in Germany, it is the law to announce delivery after a halted subscription fourteen days prior, so people who maybe don’t want to restart can cancel in time. They, of course, can also call in and confirm they want the delivery to start immediately, but we have to send the letter first.)

Caller: “I don’t care; I just want my newspaper tomorrow and the ones I did not get credited back!”

Me: “I can’t promise you any paper tomorrow or even the rest of the week. We need to send you the letter before we can restart and with Easter this weekend, I am pretty sure accounting will not be able to confirm the balance and send the letter until Thursday.”

Caller: “But how can you leave me until next week without a paper? I had the newspaper for fifty years; you can’t stop delivery!”

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but you ignored our letter after the payment got reversed by your bank. We had no other choice but to stop delivering.”

(The call starts to go in circles with me explaining the whole thing over at least twice and the caller just coming back to, “That can’t be; how did it happen?”)

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but I explained to you exactly how things came up to this point and that you will get delivery as soon as we are able to confirm it properly. Please stay patient; I have already asked for your case to be reviewed ASAP.”

Caller: “But you can’t just not get me a newspaper for the rest of the week! I have always paid you for fifty years!”

Me: “Honestly, I don’t know what to tell you anymore but that you are wrong about this. We have left you without a paper for two months by now and you have just paid us five months after the first bill was due. These are the facts, and I can and will not tell you anything else. Please wait for the letter. If you don’t have any other questions, I will end this call.”

Caller: “But I don’t understand; why did you cancel my delivery?”

Me: *ends the call after twenty minutes*