Does Not Com-Poo-te

(I work at a computer repair store.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, my laptop won’t turn on.”

Me: “Okay, let me check it out for a few minutes and see if I can’t figure out what’s going on.”

(I proceed to run my typical quick diagnostics when a computer won’t turn on. I try a different AC adapter, hold down the power for 30 seconds, etc. but nothing seems to work.)

Me: “Well, sir, it looks like it’s still not wanting to work, but I can send it out for a fee. What happened to it?”

Customer: “Well, my toilet exploded on it.”

Me: “…Excuse me… what?”

Customer: “Yeah, my toilet exploded on it.”

Me: “Yeah, unfortunately we can’t fix that, but we have a bunch of new laptops you can look at.”

(I then proceeded to scrub myself all the way up to my elbows in the bathroom, appalled that he didn’t tell me that until AFTER I had handled it!)