Does He Want A Rental Or A Roomba?

I work at an ice-skating rink. A teenage boy, maybe fifteen or so, clomps over awkwardly in skates.

Teen: “These skates are broken or something. I can’t stop. I keep crashing into the walls.”

Me: “Did you try using the toe pick?”

Teen: “I’m not using that! I saw a video saying that’s for figure skaters. I’m not doing those gay twirls, bro.”

Me: “Well, toe picks are also how you stop if you haven’t learned the T-stop or hockey stop yet.”

Teen: “Yeah, well, maybe give me the ones that do the stopping automatically.”

Me: “Sure, we keep those right next to the skates that win gold medals on their own.”