Do You Ever Just Want To Steal Someone’s Kids?

, , , , | Legal | February 21, 2021

I work in a restaurant, and I have a story that is one part funny, one part sad.

A family of four comes in: two kids about eleven and twelve and their “parents,” though I use the term loosely. I know right off the bat that they are going to be trouble.

The first thing that clues me in is that they ask to be seated at a table closest to the door. That’s a big red flag that they are going to dine and dash. I have everyone in the restaurant watching them and I inform the manager. The manager tells me to go ahead and wait on them. What else can we do?

They order expensive seafood platters, drinks, steaks, and fancy desserts. Red flag number two: deliberately ordering the most expensive of everything.

I don’t even get the check to the table; I look over and they are gone.

Coworker: “The parents sent the kids out to the car first, waited a few minutes, and then bolted.”

This is the funny part of this story: they left their car keys on the table!

I pick them up, spin them on my finger, and whistle my way over to the manager and plop them in his hands.

As the manager calls the police, another employee watches through a window as they scramble to the car and frantically look through their pockets for the keys. Then, they all scurry out of the car, run across the street to a strip mall, and go into a fast food joint.

The cops show up, take down our side of the story, and bring the family back over to the restaurant. Now the “parents” try and say that each of them thought the other one took care of the check.

Manager: “Okay, just pay the check now and we won’t press charges.”

OOPS… Guess what? They don’t have any money! We can tell that their weak cover story just blew a big hole in itself and is deflating rapidly, while an officer is standing nearby with a sarcastic expression that says it all without a word being spoken.

Now, all through their blustering story and lack of funds, another officer has had their IDs and has been running their names. No surprise, they put the man in cuffs and into the cruiser he goes; apparently, he has an outstanding warrant! 

The woman makes a few calls on her cell, and about a half-hour later, an older woman shows up and pays the check with her credit card. She looks unhappy but really doesn’t say anything; she just sighs and signs the credit card slip. She even writes in a tip. I am guessing she’s the kids’ grandma.

We give “Mom” her car keys and off they go.

The very sad part of this story: there were two children involved in this. It’s one thing to scam and steal, but to bring your kids along?

I mentioned to the manager that I hoped that this was a lesson to the “parents.” The manager looked depressed and pointed out that the kids didn’t look upset or scared when the police were doing their thing. They had clearly been through this type of thing before and probably would in the future, too. Poor kids.

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