Do What I Want Or I’ll Hate You So There
(I work for a cell phone company. All day I chat to customers about hardware upgrades, issues with their accounts, etc. Most of the time I can’t fix their problems because of conversations like this one.)
Customer: “Hi, can you upgrade my phone, please?”
Me: “Hey, my name is [My Name]. May I have your full name and number or account number?”
Customer: “Okay, my name is [Customer] and my number is [number].”
Me: “Thank you. Just one moment while I open your account.”
(I look at his account to see what I can offer, and what I can’t. He just upgraded his phone to the new iPhone 6 Plus and owes the company $2,000; that needs to be paid before another upgrade.)
Me: “It looks like I am unable to complete your request at this time. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Customer: “WHY? THIS IS DUMB! UPGRADE MY PHONE! I WANT THE iPHONE 6S NOW!”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks that you have just done an upgrade and still owe on that.”
Customer: “SO? GIVE ME A NEW ONE!”
Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I am unable as the system will not let me unless the balance is paid off in full.”
Customer: “How much do I owe?”
Me: “$2,000; that’s for the phone, the overdue bills, and device protection.”
Customer: “Can’t you just waive that if I stay with you?”
Me: “Um, no?!”
Customer: “THAT’S DUMB! I HATE [PHONE COMPANY]!”
Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Customer: “Will you waive that fee now?”
Me: “No, I still can’t.”
(The customer disconnected from chat. That had to have been the stupidest chat ever.)
