Do The Dishes To Get The Dishiest

(A girl I am seeing suddenly breaks off contact with me without a discernible reason. My mom finds out.)

Mom: “If there’s anything I can do to help you get girls, let me know. I am a girl after all, I know what girls like. For one thing, girls don’t like guys with long hair, it doesn’t look good.”

Me: *speechless*

Mom: “Also, you should put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher. You’d get a lot more girls if you just weren’t so unattractive and inconsiderate!”