Do Not (Pet) Pass(port) Go

I’m a veterinary surgeon. This was a few years ago when Pet Passports were first introduced in the UK. At the time, to get a Pet Passport, the dog or cat needed to have a rabies vaccination, then wait some time, then have a blood test to see if the rabies vaccine worked, and then they were okay to travel. I think it was a minimum of three weeks to be able to use it.

I had a client come in with a dog.

Client: “I need a passport for [Dog].”

Me: “Okay, we can start with a rabies vaccination today.”

I explained the process.

Client: “No, that’s not good enough. We’re travelling in two days!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s illegal for me to stamp and sign a passport that will let you take [Dog] in two days.”

Client: “Well, vets in [Major City] did it for me.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m not prepared to break the law for you.”

Client: “Can you give me some sedatives so I can smuggle the dog across the border?”

Yes, he really did say this. I responded after an incredulous pause.

Me: “No!”

At this point, I started ushering him out of the door, completely done with this consultation. The client got halfway out of the door and then turned to me.

Client: “Wait! My dog’s afraid of thunder! Can I have some sedatives for that?”

Me: “How stupid do you think I am?! Get out!”

No, they didn’t pay for their consultation. Yes, I tried to report them.