Do Not Leave Your Desk, Period!

I am having a rough day with the “womanly issues” and so I am spending a bit more time in the restroom than usual. This, of course, does not go unnoticed by my micro-managing boss.

Boss: “What were you doing in there!”

Me: “You’re not allowed to ask me that.”

Boss: “I am allowed to ask anything I want pertaining to your productivity. You’re getting paid to sit at your desk and work, not sit on the toilet for hours playing games on your phone.”

Me: “That is absolutely not what is going on.”

Boss: “I don’t care. I don’t want to see you leave your desk outside of your allotted break time for the rest of the day, or it’s a write-up.”

He leaves before I can protest, so I sit down at my seat. I am a stubborn, vindictive, and petty person, and so I am willing to suffer a little to make a point. I grimace through the rest of the day and manage to leave without too many issues.

The very next day we have an “all-hands” meeting to close out the week, which is attended virtually by most of upper management. We get to the AOB part of the meeting and I raise my hand.

Company Big-Wig: “Yes, [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, I was wondering if [Boss]’s policy to force the female staff to remain in their seats during heavy-flow periods could be put into writing somewhere? I don’t want to be blamed for making a mess of the office chairs, you see.”

For a glorious moment, everyone was silent. My boss’s face was, poetically, very red.

Company Big-Wig: “I… think this is something that [Boss] and upper management can discuss outside of this meeting. [Boss], please remain behind after the meeting is adjourned.

I left to enjoy my weekend (health issues aside) and on Monday my boss was absent for what would be two weeks of “retraining.”

From that day onward, every time I needed a restroom break, I would make sure to pass by his desk, even though it wasn’t on the way.