Do NOT Give This Person A Passport!

I am Filipino-American, and I am at a Filipino consulate to process some paperwork to allow me to stay in the Philippines for an extended trip. A non-Filipino woman comes up to me as I am waiting in line.

Woman: *Thrusting papers at me* “Process these for me!”

Me: “I don’t work here, ma’am. I’m in line just like you.” 

Woman: “What? What do you mean? I don’t speak Tagalong!”

Me: “It’s Tagalog, and I am speaking in English.”

Woman: “Your English is okay, but I expect better at a consulate.”

Me: “I was born in Chicago.”

Woman: “The Philippines has a Chicago?”

Me: “No… I… Never mind. Just stay in line behind me, and when it’s your turn they’ll tell you where to go.”

Woman: “You should let me go ahead, you know, because I am going to be visiting your country. You need to make a good impression.”

Me: “So, if I stay in line, I might risk you not visiting the Philippines.”

Woman: “You just might!”

Me: “Not moving, then. I might be doing the Philippines a favor.”

My processing took long enough that I saw her get served also. Luckily for the Philippines, she didn’t have a passport. She thought she didn’t need one as she was just “heading over there for a wedding, and besides, isn’t the Philippines owned by the US?”