Do My Dissertation For Me Kthnxbai

, , , , | Right | April 11, 2018

(I answer the phone.)

Me: *in Dutch* “[Institute]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Do you speak any Dutch?”

Me: *in Dutch* “Yes, ma’am, I do. You have reached [Institute]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “So, you speak some Dutch?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am certified near-native, and I do translation work here at the institute. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Oh… kay, I guess. Well, I’m doing a huge dissertation; I mean a really big one.”

Me: “All right…”

Caller: “It’s about the war.”

Me: “All right…”

Caller: “So, my professor said that your library has a lot about the subject it’s on.”

Me: “That is very likely. You may come during [opening hours] and sign in to access the library.”

Caller: “I want to make an appointment.”

Me: “The library doesn’t work with appointments. You can just come sign in and go right in.”

Caller: “But I want an appointment.”

Me: “I’m sorry. The library doesn’t work with appointments, but you can simply come use it, and the archive. For free.”

Caller: “But I’ve never been there before!”

Me: “All right.”

Caller: *whining* “How will I know what to do?

Me: “There is always someone at the information desk in the library to help visitors navigate the books and archives.”

Caller: “And he will have the time to just work with me until I’m done?”

Me: “Well, no, we cannot provide step-by-step continual personal guidance for each and every visitor, but he will explain how the system works, and how to access the material and request documents, and he will be right there if you have any questions.”

Caller: “But you just said he’ll be there to help me.”

Me: “Yes. He is there to help all of the visitors to the library and archives.”

Caller: “But I need someone to help me! You said he’s there to help me.”

Me: “He is there to help you. He is there to help everyone.”

Caller: *whining* “But what if I can’t find something?”

Me: “Then you go to him.”

Caller: “So, basically everything is incredibly easy to find?”

Me: “Well, you need to use the system, which he will explain in detail when you come in.”

Caller: “I still think I should just make an appointment.”

Me: “The library does not work with appointments, and we do not have anyone on staff who can stop their important research work to spend several hours in the library with each visitor. Please believe me: the system is simple, and there is always someone there to help you.”

Caller: *outright sulking* “Well, I GUESS.” *big sigh* “FINE. I will come use the library. But I still think I should be able to make an appointment so someone can actually help me.” *click*

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