Do-mwah-nation

(My girlfriend and I are both gamers. At this time we are on Skype playing Minecraft online with each other. I frequently say ‘mwah’ while chatting with her to replace not being there to kiss her. “Civilization” is a diplomacy and development of countries game.)

Me: “Mwah.”

Girlfriend: “Nope.”

Me: “Mwah.”

Girlfriend: “Nope, I told you: if you want some kisses, then you’re gonna have to bring something to the table for me.”

Me: “How about I love you, I miss you, and I wanna kiss you?”

Girlfriend: “That’s taking the easy way out!”

Me: “Well if you don’t want mwahs, I’ll just have to pin you down till you accept my kisses!”

Girlfriend: “No fair! You’re supposed to use the Civilization negotiation methods here!”

Me: “Well, in Civilization, if someone doesn’t accept my terms of peace or invades me, I just dominate them till they’re crushed under my boot!”

Girlfriend: “What am I dating?!”

Me: “Mwah!”

Girlfriend: “…”