Do-It-Yourself Rewards Club

Caller: “I need you to send me a few books.”

Me: “Sure, which books…”

(I take the names of about ten products and the shipping address.)

Me: “Alright, and what kind of credit card will you be using today?”

Caller: “Credit card? You’re not seriously going to charge me for all this?”

Me: “Well–”

Caller: “Look, I spend a lot of money with you people. The least you can do is ship me some free stuff every now and then! Just write it off on your taxes next year!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that–”

Caller: “Never mind. Cancel the order!”