DNA Sampling Was Supposed To Be Getting Easier

I’m doing undergraduate research in a genetics lab. Among several other things, the lab also routinely does paternity testing. The phone rings.

Researcher: “[University] genetics lab, hello.”

I can only hear her side of the conversation.

Researcher: “Yes, you’re speaking to her.”

Researcher: “We’re at [Address].”

Researcher: “Yes, right down the street from the bus stop. See you later, then. Bye.”

Five minutes later, the phone rings again. Again, I only hear one side of the conversation.

Researcher: “[University] genetics lab, hello.”

Researcher: “Yeah, it’s me again.”

Researcher: “The address is [Address]. Are you at the bus stop?”

Researcher: “Do you see a statue next to you?”

Time passes in silence. The statue she’s mentioning is ten metres away from the bus stop, and at five metres tall, it dominates the plaza.

Researcher: “Yeah, no… not that way. Turn your back to the stadium. Do you see the statue now? No, don’t walk away from the bus stop. Just turn. Turn your head.”

Researcher: “Okay. Do you see a blue building, past the statue? That’s [Road]. We’re [number].”

She ends the call. Five minutes pass and the phone rings again. The researcher does an eye-roll and picks up.

Researcher: “Yeah?”

Researcher: “Yes, the blue… No, we’re not in the blue building, of course; it’s a bank. We’re at [number]. The brown building next to it. We’re… I can see you outside the window, sir. Turn around and you’ll see me. The other way. Yeah. Can you see me waving in the window? Yeah. You’ve found us. Great. As soon as you get here, we can get started. Bye.”

She ends the call with a massive sigh.

Me: “For the child’s sake, let’s hope the father is someone else.”