Divorced From The Idea

(I am in my philosophy class. There is a girl who, while really sassy, is not super social. One of the more obnoxious boys in class has managed to get her to give him a high-five.)

Boy: “That’s like the friendliest thing she’s ever done.”

Boy’s Friend: “Ooh, the two of you make a cute couple.”

Boy: “True love, right here.”

Boy’s Friend: “The two of you are going to get married. Calling it right now.”

Boy’s Friend #2: “[Boy’s name] and [girl’s name], 2014!”

Boy: “Hey, [teacher’s name], can you marry us?”

(This goes on for a while until the teacher manages to calm things down. On this particular day, the teacher is talking about different worldviews and, to compare them, he is discussing their views on divorce.)

Teacher: “So, I know none of you are married—”

Boy’s Friend #2: “Hey, they are!”

Teacher: “Right, so if the two of you were to get a divorce, say like you were fighting—”

(The boy feigns sadness. The girl, meanwhile, has been getting embarrassed by the whole thing.)

Girl: “For Pete’s sake, why are we still talking about this? Besides, I would never divorce him; I’d just murder him.”

(That at least got the teacher to drop it!)