Ditzy Ritzy

(I work desk and audit at a chain hotel nearby a casino.)

Me: “[Hotel]! How may I be of service today?”

Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if you had shuttles to [Local Casino]?”

Me: “Yes, we offer free shuttle on weekends, 3 pm to 10:30 pm, to local areas.”

Caller: “Okay, I’d like to make a reservation.”

Me: “Great! What nights were you wanting?”

Caller: “[Nights].”

Me: “Okay, and what room type do you need? We have—”

Caller: “Just the cheapest room you have.”

Me: “Okay, our rate is $94.99.”

Caller: “Oh, your site it says [Other Amount.]”

Me: “Oh, are you certain you have the correct dates? Our rates fluctuate based on occupancy.”

Caller: “I know that! I stay at hotels all the time! Oh, it was on the wrong date. Now it says [Third Rate.]”

Me: “Is it possible that you are looking at the prepaid option? You can prepay that amount, but—”

Caller: “I know! I know! I stay at hotels ALL THE TIME. Jeez, isn’t that rate kind of high?”

(If you work or stay at hotels, you probably realize that this rate is not very high.)

Me: “We do offer certain discounts. Do you have [a few types of discounts], or anything similar?”

Caller: “Do you have a corporate discount?”

Me: “We offer discounts with different companies who often have guests stay with us, but not a discount for all companies. I’m sorry.”

Caller: “Do you have one with [Company]?”

Me: “I’m afraid we do not, sir.”

Caller: “What about a gambler’s discount?”

(I laugh a little because I think he’s joking. Tragically, he is not.)

Caller: “So, you don’t?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry we do not have a discount for gamblers.”

Caller: “This is ridiculous! I’ve stayed at the top hotels in the country and they were never this high! I really need to stay here, but your prices are outrageous!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, sir. We have a higher occupancy for those nights, so as you’re aware, the rate will inflate. We have a 4 pm cancellation policy on the day of arrival, so we could always make the reservation and you can cancel if you find something you’re happier with.”

Caller: “Yeah…”

(I made his reservation and told some of my coworkers about it the next time I saw them. It’s become a joke; how our Midwestern limited service hotel is more expensive than “the top hotels in the country!”)