Distastefully Done
Customer: “Yo, the cream cheese on this bagel is bad.”
Me: “Hmm, that’s the same cream cheese we’ve been serving all morning. Nobody else has complained about it.”
Customer: “Trust me, it’s gross.”
I remade his bagel with cream cheese from the single-serving cups we used for to-go orders. I checked it was all good. He comes back less than a minute later.
Customer: “What the h***?! The cream cheese is still bad! Stop giving me bad cream cheese!”
Me: “Sir, there is nothing wrong with the cream cheese. I checked it myself.”
Customer: “But it’s gross!”
Me: “Sir, when you say it’s gross, do you mean you think it tastes gross?”
Customer: “Well, yeah, but that’s because there’s no way it’s supposed to taste like that.”
Me: “Is this your first time eating cream cheese?”
Customer: “…yeah.”
Me: “Then I guess you just don’t like it because that’s how it’s supposed to taste.”
Customer: “That can’t be how it’s supposed to taste?!”
Me: “I assure you, it is, sir.”
Customer: “But that’s so gross! Can I get a refund?”
Me: “You just got two cream cheese bagels for the price of one because you insisted the cheese had gone bad. Be happy I’m not charging you for two.”
Customer: “But then I just wasted my money!”
Me: “You learned now that you will forever hate cream cheese. That knowledge is priceless.”
