Distant Chance Of A Decent Gift

(My wife’s sister has an unusual marriage. They are very distant and argue a lot of the time, yet pretend to be “soul mates” on Facebook. We don’t interfere but like to joke in private.)

Wife: “[Sister]’s birthday day is coming up soon. Any ideas?”

Me: “Err, cookbook for one?”

Wife: “No!”

Me: “New door locks?”

Wife: “Seriously?!”

Me: “Oh! Somewhere to bury the body?”

Wife: “Were you going to give me any helpful answers?”

Me: “Er, well, I hadn’t planned on it, no.”

(We ended up buying her a handbag, but I think my ideas were better.)