Playing Him Outed

(We have joint orchestra-choir concerts. We are standing in a hallway next to the backstage area. One loud classmate is being a blabbermouth and talking to a friend very loudly.)

Loud Classmate: “So did you know [Other Classmate] is gay? He said not to tell anyone! Can you believe it?”

(Everyone turns to look, shocked.)

Friend: “You idiot! Everybody heard! You just outed him!”

(The other classmate in question walks out into the backstage area and notices everyone looking at him.)

Other Classmate: “What are you all staring at me for?”

(One of the singers in the orchestra, a friend of the loud classmate and a bigot, speaks up.)

Bigoted Classmate: “Is it true you’re a f**? [Loud Classmate] just said so! I’m not singing with a f**!”

(Realizing he has been outed to everyone, and fearing repercussions, the other classmate turns and runs to a bathroom and locks himself in. We all go after him.)

Bigoted Classmate: “We all have to be on in like two minutes! Leave the f** alone!”

(However, another singer, who is also a football player, speaks up in defense of the other classmate.)

Football Player: *to the bigoted classmate* “F*** off before I beat the crap out of you!”

(All 42 of us reach the bathroom where he has locked himself in, still holding our instruments. Naturally, we are fearing the worst.)

Me: *pounding on the door* “Dude, open it! It’s fine! We’re fine with you being gay! Don’t do anything stupid!”

Other Classmate: “No it’s not! I TOLD her to not tell anyone! Now I’m gonna be catching h*** from everybody!”

Cellist: “No, you’re not. Dude, we don’t care if you’re gay. You can sing awesomely, and that’s all that matters. Now get your butt out here and let’s go do the concert.”

Football Player: “And if anybody gives you trouble, I will personally beat them to a f****** pulp.”

Other Classmate: “No, I can’t. How do I know you guys aren’t gonna beat the crap out of me when I open the door?”

Me: “Everybody, 1-2-3-4…”

(All 42 of us start doing our concert piece right there in front of the bathroom door, with the choir members singing and the rest of us playing.)

Me: “We can’t beat you up if we’re playing! Now come out!”

(The other classmate finally comes out, albeit tentatively, and everybody breaks into cheers and surrounds him, assuring him that we accept and respect him however he is. We do delay the concert, but it gets underway again. The bigoted singer? He doesn’t dare say another word. Our outed classmate, by the way, is now out of the closet and happily attending college.)