Disc Doctor, Not Disc Miracle Worker

(Our store sells a device called a Disc Doctor; it resurfaces CDs so they can be read again.)

Caller: “I bought a Disc Doctor and it isn’t working.”

Manager: “Well, I have one, and they can be difficult at times. Why don’t you tell me what you did, and I’ll try and talk you through it.”

Caller: “Okay. I sprayed it with the solution and then I put both halves in the tray–”

Manager: “Wait… did you just say ‘both halves’?”

Caller: “Yeah, both halves.”

Manager: “Yeah, that’s not going to work…”