DIS AR TEH AWKWARD

It’s the mid- to late 2000s, and LOLCats meme culture is at its height. This has given rise to a pattern of Internet speech in which something (usually an animal, but not always) is described as “having a(n) [adjective]”, e.g., “That cat is having a sad,” and, “That dog has a soft,” etc. I am in middle school and my friends and I are not only deeply immersed in this, but we think it makes us super cool and interesting.

One day, I am in the car with my mom when I spot the neighbor’s outdoor cat Cheddar, who is quite fat.

I say, with the sage confidence only an eleven-year-old can muster:

Me: “Aww, Cheddar has a chubby!”