Dirty Tricks

(I have bought too much potting soil, and I’m waiting in line to return what I didn’t need. The people in front of me are trying to return an obviously used sump pump, claiming they just bought it. I wait in line for about five minutes while the cashier, soon joined by her manager, navigates the return. Finally, they just decide to give them their money back. After this transaction, the manager waves me to a second register and takes care of my return.)

Manager: “Man, some people are just terrible liars. There’s no way they just bought that. The lengths that some people go to to save a few bucks…”

Me: “Well, I promise that I didn’t empty this bag and fill it full of regular dirt.”

Manager: *laughs* “You’re just fine.”

Me: “And I almost got away with it, too!”