Dinnae Ken Wheat Yer Sayin’

I’ve recently moved from Ireland to Scotland and have taken a job in a sub shop.

Customer: “Can I get a six-inch on wheat?”

Me: “Sure, what would you like on it?”

Customer: “No, I want wheat bread.”

Me: “This is wheat bread.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. I want wheat bread.”

Me: *Points at our sign* “These are our bread options. As you can see, this is the wheat bread. Do you want one of the wheat variations?”

Customer: “No. I want wheat bread.”

Before I can respond, my Scottish coworker pops her head out from the back.

Coworker: “[My Name], he’s saying he wants white bread! I don’t think you’re used to our accent yet.”

Customer: “Yes! Exactly! Wheat bread.”

Me: “Oh, my God. I’m so sorry!”

Customer: “Nae bother. We got there in the end.”