Differing Medical Degrees Of Stupidity

(I work in the IT department of a hospital. My job is simple: answer the call of every doctor, researcher, nurse, or other staff and abide their every wish. This is something I encountered more often than one would believe.)

Me: “Good morning, IT department here. What can I do for you?”

Doctor: “Hello, my name is Dr. [Name] and I can’t log in.”

Me: “Are you attempting to log into your Windows account?”

Doctor: “Yes.”

Me: “What error do you get?”

Doctor: “Wrong password.”

Me: “All right, I will reset it.”

(At this point, I look up his user account in our database and reset his password.)

Me: “All right, your new password should be ‘secret123.’ Try that, please.”

Doctor: “No, it’s not working”

Me: “Make sure you do not have caps lock active.”

Doctor: “What?”

Me: “The upwards arrow on the left side of the keyboard. Make sure it’s not glowing.”

Doctor: “Uh… there’s nothing glowing on my keyboard. You must have done something wrong”

(The conversation goes on for about 10 minutes, involving multiple password resets and checks, before I finally ask him for his room number so I can look at it myself. Upon looking at his screen, he has Amazon opened and has been trying to log into Amazon with his hospital login.)

Me: “Sir, you’re attempting to log into Amazon.”

Doctor: “Yes.”

Me: “You will need your personal login for that.”

Doctor: “What is my personal login?”

Me: “I don’t know. It’s your account, not mine.”

Doctor: “But it’s in the hospital. You have to know!”

Me: “We do not run Amazon. I don’t know your account credentials.”

Doctor: “No, my personal ID works everywhere!”

Me: “Yes, inside the hospital, but Amazon is not run by the hospital.”

Doctor: “But I am in the hospital right now!”

(At this point, I simply forwarded him to my boss, who took 15 minutes to explain to him that Amazon is indeed not run by our hospital, but instead a worldwide company, accessible anywhere. Further, he was surprised that Google and Wikipedia were not run by our hospital either. I really wonder how these people got a degree in medicine.)