Didn’t Get A Straight Reading Of The Situation

, , , , , , | Related | January 30, 2018

(I’m female and bisexual, and while I’m home visiting my parents, I’m chatting with my mom about a girl I’ve gone on a date with recently. While we’re talking, my dad comes in.)

Me: “Yeah, the first date went great, so I was really excited for the second date. I even bought her flowers. We had talked about politics, Jane Eyre, and theater design… and then, on the second date, I realized those were only things she knew how to talk about. Okay, I figured maybe she was having an off day, benefit of the doubt… but then we got to her apartment, and she only had ten books, total. Even worse, they were the Twilight books, the 50 Shades of Gray books, a book on tarot, a book on astronomy, and Jane Eyre. I mean seriously, what is Jane Eyre doing in there?!”

Mom: *laughing* “Oh, ouch. Did she at least have a library card or a Kindle, even if she didn’t actually own many books?”

Me: “No! And she said she didn’t like reading! That’s when I made some excuse and went home. No girl is cute enough to justify not reading.”

Dad: “Wait, ‘she’? You were dating a woman?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m bi. Didn’t I tell you? I could have sworn I told you.”

Mom: “I thought you were in the room when she told us, dear.”

Dad: “That doesn’t seem like the kind of thing I’d forget… Anyway. So, you’re bi. You like women, too. You went on a second date with this woman and bought her flowers. Then, you left, because she didn’t own books or like reading, and because she couldn’t hold an intelligent conversation?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s the gist of it.”

(To my surprise, my dad has a huge grin on his face.)

Dad: “Girl, your priorities are exactly where they should be. We raised you right!”

(And that’s how I accidentally came out to my dad the second time!)

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