Didn’t Even Paws To Consider

(I work in a hotel. A dog is barking in a room during breakfast time, and we can hear it in the lobby. A guest — the owner of the dog — approaches me at the front desk.)

Guest: “That barking is putting me off my breakfast.”

(Thinking she’s joking, I let out a small laugh.)

Guest: “Well, what should be done?!”

Me: “Er… I suppose you could go eat your breakfast with your dog, and then it might stop barking?”

Guest: “No! No, that is not my dog. It is someone else’s dog. I want to file a complaint.”

Me: “Ma’am. It’s definitely your dog.”

Guest: “No, my dog doesn’t bark when I leave my room.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know how else to tell you. There’s only one dog staying here. It’s your dog.”

Guest: “MY DOG IS GOOD! SHE DOESN’T BARK FOR NO REASON! THAT DOG IS PUTTING ME OFF MY BREAKFAST AND I WANT YOU TO FIX IT.”

(I started to smile; I couldn’t believe the sheer stupidity of the conversation. She turned around and stomped down the hallway, presumably to “prove” it was not her dog. She got to her room and the barking stopped. I never saw her again, hopefully because she felt like a huge jerk for yelling at me about her own dog. And how exactly does a barking dog interfere with your ability to eat breakfast? I mean, really.)