Did I Hair You Properly?

(I enter the salon with very long, thick, unruly, curly hair. I haven’t been taking the best care of it so my ends are pretty split and dry. I decide on a dramatic change – chop it all off and go with a super short bob. Despite some damage, my hair’s length, thickness, and texture never failed to impress people.)

Hairdresser: “Wow, such thick pretty hair! Oh but I know you’re ready for a change! The new cut will be perfect!”

Me: “Yes I’m really excited!”

Hairdresser: “Okay I’m going to cut off the majority of your hair to start before we wash and condition, and get to the actual haircut.”

(The hairdresser proceeds to put my hair into a ponytail and cut away. As she is doing this, a regular’s kid, a little girl of about seven, stops behind me to watch. From the reflection in the mirror I can see her eyes go giant in amazement. The hairdresser is just about done chopping off the last bit of length.)

Little Girl: “HER HAIR!”

Hairdresser: “Yes, honey, she’s cutting it off. She wants a new look.”

Little Girl: “CAN I HAVE IT?!”

Hairdresser: “Go sit down!”

(The little girl walked off disappointed…)