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Designer Is Nice, If You’re A Potato

, , , | Related | September 6, 2021

I have a lot of sensory issues. One thing I can’t stand is the way a lot of fabrics feel slimy or prickly on my skin, so if I touch a fabric and it “feels” bad, there is no way I am wearing that piece of clothing. My mother thought I was being fussy or awkward for my entire childhood, and even since I moved out to live my own life, she still seems to hold this belief. She is also convinced I don’t know how to dress “professionally” since every time I am at her house, it’s a weekend.

Mum: “I have this lovely new top; I got it from a great designer. I think you’ll love it.”

Me: *Instantly wary* “Oh?”

Mum: *Brightly* “Yes, let me get it. You can try it on.”

I know I will be badgered relentlessly if I don’t.

Me: “Let me see it first.”

Mum runs off and brings back something to this day I will only describe as a potato sack. It is dull brown and coarsely woven, has NO shaping, and has these tiny little snippets of fabric that might be sleeves? They are at most an inch long on top, with no under to the arm at all, with a thick wedge of thread from attachment in the armpit. I touch it and confirm that it doesn’t just LOOK like a potato sack, it FEELS like a potato sack, too!

Me: “I am not putting this on.”

Mum: “But… it’s designer.”

I look at it, look at her, and look at it again.

Me: “No.”

Mum: “But it’s perfect! It’s a designer shirt.”

Me: “Absolutely not.”

She did eventually wear me down enough to make me try it on. It was even worse wearing it than it had been looking at. That was when I found out how thick and rough the thread used was. My mother kept insisting that it was designer! As if that made it magically stop chafing and itching so awfully.

For those fearing for my sanity and my mothers’, I soon after introduced a long-needed “no means no” policy, where I informed her that if she was going to keep badgering me after the first no, I would get up and leave. It only took enforcing once before she stopped trying to force me into such awful clothes. She had found that not only do I stick to that, but it means if she finds something I actually do like, I will say yes! It also means now if she asks me to try on a costume for her new home-run museum, I can actually say yes, knowing that if she pulls something I hate out, my “no” will be accepted.