Dentists Need To Cut Their Teeth

(My son is 14 months old. We currently live in an area that doesn’t place much emphasis on dental hygiene, so it’s common for people of all ages to be missing a lot of teeth.)

Dentist: “Okay, I see that he was in here when he was ten months and he had eight teeth. Has he had any accidents or falls that’s affected his teeth? Does he have any new teeth?”

Me: *laughs* “Oh, yeah. He’s pretty much doubled his teeth since last time. But there’s been no issue with falling. We ensure that his teeth are well taken care of.”

(The dentist puts toothpaste on a toothbrush which causes my son to suddenly lean forward on my lap and scream.)

Son: “Teeth!”

Dentist: *visibly shaken* “He, uh, speaks?”

Me: “He’s knows a few words, yes.”

(My son at this point is alternating between screaming “teeth!” and opening his mouth wide. The dentist takes one look at my son’s 16 teeth and visibly pales.)

Dentist: “Good God! Look at those teeth! He has so many teeth!” *he checks my son’s chart again* “14 months?! How many teeth does he have?!”

Me: “16. Like I said, he doubled them. Don’t worry. He knows that biting is strictly prohibited.”

(After much coaxing I finally get the dentist to put the toothbrush in my son’s mouth. About 15 seconds into it my son clamps down around the tooth brush which causes the dentist to immediately snatch his hand back.)

Dentist: *warily eyeing my child* “He… uh… he can keep that. I’ll just, uh, see you in three months.”

(We found another dentist.)