Denouncing The Announcement

(I am in the second level band at my school. It is the day before final exams begin. The director is out today, so the assistant director is conducting the band. While we are transitioning between pieces, an announcement comes on over the PA system:)

Assistant Principal: “Remember! Tomorrow is the first day of the fun-filled final exams! Study halls will be added to lunch periods, and they will be assigned alphabetically. There will be posters in the foyer, in the A-Wing, and in the courtyard that will display your assignments, so don’t forget to check them first thing in the morning tomorrow! Mr. [Assistant Principal] says, ‘Do your Homework!’”

Assistant Director: “That was a rather lengthy announcement. You know, I probably could have had that over within about five seconds if I were the announcer. ‘TOMORROW! EXAMS! FUN! LUNCH! STUDY HALLS! POSTERS! BYE!’”