(D)efinitely (V)ery (D)umb

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, you just rented me this movie, and it doesn’t work.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “It keeps playing the same scene over and over again.”

Me: “The same scene keeps playing?”

Customer: “Yeah, and it has these words written on it. ‘Play’, ‘Scene Selection’, ‘Language’ and ‘Special Features’.”

Me: “Uh, sir, that’s the DVD menu. You just have to click ‘Play’ and the movie will start.”

Customer: “Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard of that. How do I do that?”

Me: “Uh, just hit the arrow buttons on your remote until you get to ‘Play’, then hit ‘Enter’ and the movie will start. Or, if you have a ‘Play’ button, just hit that.”

Customer: “Okay, where is that on my remote?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what your remote looks like.”

Customer: “Never mind, I found it. Okay, I’m clicking ‘Play’. Well now it just went black! Oh, now it has something different. Can you stay on the line with me for a little to make sure that scene doesn’t start repeating again?”