Definitely Something Worse

(My mum and I have gone to the returns desk to get store credit on a gift. As we arrive, a woman is throwing a tantrum over the fact that she can’t return a bathing suit that she’s already worn. It should be noted that my mother is normally a polite woman, but has quite a temper.)

Cashier: “Madam, I am sorry, but it states on the policy and on the sticker that once you remove the underwear lining, you can’t return the item.”

Customer: “But I brought my receipt! You have to return it!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but this item hasn’t got its tags, there is no actual defect with the product, and it has been worn. I simply can’t make the return.”

Customer: “Why the f*** not?”

Mum: “Because for all they know, you’ve got a yeast infection down there or something worse.”

(She makes a big show of looking the customer up and down.)

Mum: “By the looks of you, I’d say, ‘something worse.’”

(For a moment, the customer looks like she’s about to hit Mum, but instead, she snatches the swimsuit from the counter and stalks off, screaming about “f****** b****es.”)

Cashier: “Thank you so much!”