Definitely Not In The Job Description

Me: “Thanks for calling [Pizza Place]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like…” *places order as usual*

Me: “Okay, is there anything else I can do for you?”

Caller: “Yes! When the driver arrives, could you tell him these instructions?”

Me: “Okay. I’ll be your driver, by the way.”

Caller: “All right. First, I want you to knock on the window three times, then yell like a Wookie. Then knock two more times and make alien noises.”

Me: “Alien… noises?”

Caller: “You know the ‘click’ and stuff. Like in the movie… uhh, what movie is that again?”

Me: “You mean Signs?”

Caller: “Yeah! That’s the one. Okay, so after you do that, knock three more times and then yell, ‘PLANKTON!'”

Me: “Anything else?”

Caller: “Oh yeah, do you have any lingerie?”

Me: “Not on me…”

Caller: “Oh, well, you should drive home and then find some, and wear that to the door.”

Me: “Okay, is that all, ma’am?”

Caller: “Yeah, but don’t forget the lingerie!”

(I decide to go along with the caller’s request, put on some shorts, and roll the legs up so it’s similar to a Speedo. Half an hour later, I arrive at their door. The entire party comes outside to watch my show of knocks and clicks, and then poses with me to take pictures. I got a $15 tip, too!)