Deep Pan In Deeper Waters

I worked at a pizza place for several years as a teenager, including during the Brisbane floods of 2011. Half the roads in the area we delivered to were closed, and residents were flooded in.

Caller: “I want to order a pizza!”

When a customer calls on the phone number linked to their account, we automatically see their name and address in their order history.

Me: “Madam, if this is to be delivered to your home address, then I’m afraid we can’t do that today. Your area is experiencing floods and—”

Caller: “—I know! I can see a river outside my window where my street used to be!”

Me: “…So, you understand why we can’t deliver today?”

Caller: “Uh… no?! I can’t drive out, so you have to bring the pizza to me! That’s why I’m f****** ordering!”

Me: “Madam, if you can’t drive in or out of your street, our drivers can’t either.”

Caller: “That’s what the delivery fee is for you f****** idiot!”

Me: “Sure, b****, just hold on a sec while I fire up the chopper.” *Click.*

We let her multiple call backs ring out until she got the hint.