Decision Derision
(I work in the Historical Research Institute.)
Caller: *immensely cheerful* “Hi, this is Mrs. [Name] from Goodwill!”
Me: “Hello.”
Caller: “How are you?”
Me: “I’m just fine. How are you?”
Caller: “I’m fine, too! Great! I was hoping I could talk to the owner. Is he there?”
Me: “The owner of this building is the National Monument Service, ma’am.”
Caller: “Nice! Is he there?”
Me: “Er, no, the National Monument Service is not here… That is a branch of the government.They have their own offices elsewhere.”
Caller: “Okay, great. Is the head decision maker there?”
Me: “The head decision maker about what in particular?”
Caller: “You know, the person who makes the decisions.”
Me: “In order to direct your call I need to know what decisions you mean, ma’am.”
Caller: “Well, who IS the decision maker?”
Me: *trying a new tack* “Ma’am, we are a subsidiary of the National Academy of Sciences. All high-level decisions originate there. They have their own offices.”
Caller: “No, who is YOUR main decision maker? There! Where you are! YOUR company!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we have various department heads and team leaders and in order to direct your call I need to know what kind of decision you mean when you ask for the head decision-maker.”
Caller: “Decisions about goodness, about having a heart! Decisions about decency! About children in need!”
Me: “Ma’am, I really am uncertain how to direct your call. Could you be more specific about the TYPE of decision that needs to be made?”
Caller: *waxing significantly less cheery* “YOU must have a direct superior. Who is YOUR direct superior?”
Me: “That is Mr. [Name], ma’am; he is in a meeting. But I—”
Caller: *now sounding pissed off* “FINE! I will call back tomorrow!” *click*
Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?