Debating With Idiots Can Be A Rabbit Hole

We have a new guy in the office who is an outright contrarian. He loves to counterargue anyone’s stance on literally anything, even if it has no connection to his life.

Today, he has found out I’m a vegan:

Coworker: “So, you’re being selfish to the animals.”

Me: “Uh… what? How?”

Coworker: “If vegans care about animals so much, and they eat all the vegetables, then all the animals who eat vegetables will go hungry.”

Me: “I’m sure you think that’s very funny.”

Coworker: “No, I’m being serious!”

Me: “If you genuinely think that what you just said is some “gotcha!” then that’s all the evidence I need to remove myself from this conversation.”

Coworker: “So you’re scared to debate me?”

Me: “I’m scared of how much damage my IQ will take in trying to debate with someone who thinks that vegans are competing with rabbits in a zero-sum game of who can eat the most carrots.”

I turned to look at my monitor, and he left me alone for the rest of the day.