Deathnotes

(My coworker and I are both fans of the SCP Foundation — basically a bunch of stories of anomalous entities kept hidden away from the public to avoid mass panics by a secret organization. We’re discussing what would happen if they were real and were released into the world.)

Me: “Nah, man, it’s all about that 682.” *a very large, sentient, angry lizard who hates life and constantly regenerates back lost limbs and the like*

Coworker: “Dude, that’s way too Godzilla, what about 96?” *a man-eating human thing that kills and eats people that view its face*

Me: “That’ll take too long. I mean, I’m no math genius, but I’m pretty sure it takes a pretty long time to eat a full human being.”

Manager: “What are you guys talking about?”

Me: “Oh, a statue that kills people via neck snapping.” *173*

Manager: “Uh… sounds fun. Bye.”

Coworker: “All right, fine. 106.” *an old man who is capable of moving through solid matter and generating a corrosive liquid capable of pulling people into his own personal universe*

Me: “…that’s pretty good.”